Like a stroke victim finds new neural pathways to replace those that have been destroyed, my brain started rewiring itself so that I could once again tap into emotions on a “pure” level, without irony or jaded skepticism. She showed great patience while I beat my way out of the cocoon of negativity and pessimism that I had bound myself up in. My wife is full of life and good humor, and her influence allowed me to reengage parts of myself that could have been lost forever. I remarried again, and this time I got it right. Over years of spending time with my children, I slowly learned to unwind the tension that seemed permanently lodged in my spine. Over time, things have slowly gotten better. I’m not sure if anyone could tell the difference. Too preoccupied with my own nonsense, and too far removed from my own childhood to engage on their level. I felt too busy, too distracted, too insincere. When I should have been active and engaged with my beautiful little boys, I just felt sad and exhausted. My baggage from my own shattered childhood, my failed first marriage, my bitterness at my stalled career, all these combined to encase me in a shell of my own making, placing a barrier between me and my sweeter, younger self. While they were very open and inquisitive children, I couldn’t quite open myself up to share moments of childhood discovery with them. Although I liked to think at the time that I was able to tap into my inner child to relate to them when they were very small, I now know that my attempts to create moments of wonder for my little sons were forced and stilted. But by the time my oldest children were born, starting almost 18 years ago, I was at the tail end of my jaded and besotted twenties. I was a happy and naively innocent child. Playing this game allowed me in some ways to examine myself, and the changes in my demeanor and attitudes over the years. I might have rolled my eyes at its simple story and sunny characters. I would have not have been captured by its innocent delights. There was a time in my life when I would not have recognized Ni No Kuni II for the shining star that it is. Please bear with me, this is all going somewhere. In order to understand them, I need to fill you in on some boring personal details about myself. My feelings about Ni No Kuni II are complicated.
0 kommentar(er)
